He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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