My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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