Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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