"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
