I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
