We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
