He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
