eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
