He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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