um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
