i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
