I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
