I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
