so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
