Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
