but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
