Jerry, you need to find god
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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