I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
