I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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