I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
