I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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