Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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