just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
