hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
