Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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