Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
