You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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