i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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