Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
