he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
