didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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