My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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