Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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