I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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