I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
