just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize