He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
