He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
