can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
