You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Walk of Shame today included voting.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
