My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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