My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
