Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm way too hungover for life right now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
