Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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