idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
