i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
