Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
