Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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