he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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