It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
