So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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