Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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