whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Im part way to drunk.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize