When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
