Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
