what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
