Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
