: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
