Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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