I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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