i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize