the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
