OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
