So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
