absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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