he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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