quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
