we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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